I was about 8 years old. My father wasn’t home.
I told my mother I had a stomach ache. I wasn’t keeling over or anything. Probably something I ate was backfiring – too much Halloween candy, downed too much soda or maybe I was constipated. Who knows? But I wasn’t near death or in critical condition.
Next thing I know my mother has me on the floor, on my back – M*A*S*H style – shirt pulled up, asking me where it hurts. Yada, yada, yada, she’s franticly calling neighbors and has me rushed to the hospital. It was quite the scene.
After four days of whistling dixie and watching television in the hospital they sent me home. The doctors came up empty. Nothing wrong. Nada.
Why was I put in the hospital?
Munchausen by proxy syndrome (MBPS) is a relatively rare form of child abuse that involves the exaggeration or fabrication of illnesses or symptoms by a primary caretaker. In MBPS, an individual — usually a parent or caregiver — causes or fabricates symptoms in a child. The adult deliberately misleads others (particularly medical professionals). It isn't just the attention that's gained from the "illness" of the child that drives this behavior, but also the satisfaction in deceiving individuals whom they consider to be more important and powerful than themselves. Because the parent or caregiver appears to be so caring and attentive, often no one suspects any wrongdoing.
Along with everybody else, my father couldn’t make sense of why she had me rushed to the hospital. It just didn’t make sense. To this day it STILL doesn’t make sense.
My mother has told and retold this story many times over the years. It would go something like this, “Remember when I had to rush you to the hospital? They kept you there for four days. You’re father didn’t even want me to take you.”
Her takeaway has always remained the same: She was saving the day while my father didn’t even want me in the hospital because he couldn’t care less if I died in the street.
Those who create the chaos, control the chaos. Control the chaos and you get to control and manipulate the people you’ve sucked into your chaos.
This is often experienced in arguments where one person refuses all attempts at appeasement and compromise. No matter how well reasoned your peace offering may be, this kind of person refuses peace. That’s because they want to perpetuate crisis and chaos to emotionally manipulate, abuse and punish you. Chaos used as a weapon.
And no matter what, they will always blame you.