“It’s no secret that narcissists don’t react well to rejection. When faced with rejection, they may try to conspire to turn everyone against you. If this happens, you may need to stand your ground and share your truth.”
What Happens When a Narcissist Is Exposed?
I answered the front door of our home and came face-to-face with six police officers with guns drawn and leveled at me. (You can read about it here)
This was the result of my mother calling the police and lying.
My father was a 6’4″, 240lb, NYC detective. My mother called the police and reported my father was in a drunken rage, violent, out of control, waving his gun around, pointing the gun at her and verbally threatening to “blow her away.”
Lies.
It was a couple of hours before dawn when the police showed up en masse. No lights, no sirens. They pulled up on the house in silence, strategically spread themselves around the front lawn, around the corners of the house and, once everybody was in place, they knocked.
These cops were expecting the OK Corral.
That’s when I opened the door and saw gun barrels pointing at me. I just froze. I couldn’t move. I was terrified.
It Was A Strange Place To Be
I’ve been living with this memory for 40 years and counting. Hyped-up cops pointing guns at you will make you crap your pants. Trust me.
When I tried to talk about this with my mother I was always met with denial. She wouldn’t give the subject the time of day, much less apologize, for almost getting me shot. It has always been deny, deny, deny.
“Children of narcissistically disordered parents experience profound violations of trust and ongoing assaults to their sense of reality, identity, and self-esteem. For this population, one of the most difficult aspects of recovery is overcoming denial about what they have experienced in their family system.”
Denial-Busting Truths About Your Narcissistic Parents A to Z
This kind of denial of a real event – especially a potentially deadly event – is narcissistic abuse. Narcissists will deny the sun rises in the east before they will admit a mistake or admit the damage their lies have caused. It’s a purely selfish act. To a narcissist, your experiences at their hands are irrelevant. They would prefer you just shut up and go away.
The gaslighting on this one has been very strong. I’ve spent my entire adult life trying to rationalize away what happened to me that night – to justify my continued silence – but I can’t find a reason to remain silent any longer.
Words of Caution About Releasing Denial
Denial-Busting Truths About Your Narcissistic Parents A to Z
“As you work on releasing your own denial about your narcissistic parent(s), be patient and compassionate with yourself. These truths can feel scary, confusing, destabilizing, and painful, and they take time to process. Other people may not understand your experience or may feel threatened by hearing about it. Remember to guard yourself and be careful about whom you confide in.”
I didn’t ask for this to happen. I didn’t have a say.
It was dropped in my lap and almost cost me my life.
I won’t justify my denials anymore and I no longer accept yours.
You made me live with it. Now you live with it.
What A Strange Place To Be